'Sup Sunday? May 13, 2012, Mother's Day

I'm planning this to be a weekly thing, a place to check in on my week and to put my turtle goals in writing.
It's been a good week and day. I had a wonderfully supportive and nuturing women's support group Tuesday, exploring the roles we try to fill, even when they don't fit us. I enjoyed listening to the beginning of a great audio series about the contemplative/mystical tradition in Christianity and apparently my tendency toward hearing spiritual voices and internal promptings (which are rather like an body-based GPS system - they like to tell me where to go and I often feel physically pulled or drawn like a magnet in a particular direction) makes me a mystic. Who knew?
I've spent mama's day with my fam--the boylios and dev this morning, my sis and bro this afternoon, my sweetie right now. He made me honey vanilla ice cream. I'm trying to keep the goodness and sweetness of being together in my heart, rather than the tension.
I always miss my mom on this day, even though we had a difficult relationship. I have a strong sense of mom's continued existence, of her presence in our lives, even though my rational self cannot explain how she could continue to be after her body is gone. Perhaps it is simply a remnant of my Mormon upbringing, but I cannot deny that I have felt her with me, even speaking to me, after she left the waking world. There is a part of me who misses the surety of my young adulthood - of "knowing this is true." I don't have that surety any longer but my mother has become one of my "guides." And I think I feel more comfortable now in the space of "I don't know" than I did on the realm of firm testimonies. Hmmm.
So, my turtle step for this week is to write one other weekly post.

Sweet turtle friends who live at my workplace.
The wooden ones are from my maternal grandmother, Alma.
The little enameled one is from Dr. C.